Hello there. I know that it's ben awhile since I last posted. Please forgive me for not staying on top of this.
Life has taken me on a bit of a ride over the past few months. Those of you who know me personally and interact with me regularly know that things have been a trip. Even while writing this post, there are aspects of uncertainty that are circling my life. Despite this, I know that God is a constant and that He holds my future. With that being said, I am going to write the following words with reflection, hoping to see an aspect of this that I have failed to see before.
Lately, I've been struggling with issues of bitterness and hurt. I have become deeply confused with issues that surround my life. There are a lot of other emotions that I have experienced within the last eight months of my life, but the two mentioned above are the ones that are the most prominent. If you don't know what has gone on, you can read my last post, and in the fairness of it all, I'll give you an update.
Since I last wrote, my wife and I have reconciled and we are committed to each other, no matter how difficult the road ahead is. Although we still do not agree on some stuff, we love each other and are working hard to overcome our differences. (EDIT: Ultimately, this never panned out but God has remained faithful to me nonetheless)
Because of the circumstances, I was asked to step down from my role as music pastor at the church I am involved with. My salary was also decreased and because of this, I began employment at Staples as a Senior Certified Tech.
So that's where I'm at. Fast Forward:
Yesterday, I went to Golden Corral with my family and while I was there I ran into the pastor of a prominent church here in Kingman. He told me that a friend of mine had told him my "story." I'm not sure which story he received because our conversation did not go into great detail. I don't know that it really matters. He went on to ask me about what my plans were for ministry and what I was doing with my gifts. I didn't have a real answer for that question. He took out his business card, wrote down his cell number and told me to call him. I've known people that aren't sincere about these gestures and are only trying to gain popularity. I cant say the same about this man. Everything that I have seen and heard about him was genuine. I was intrigued. The whole situation struck me as "strange."
This morning I text messaged a good friend of mine to let him know about what went on. After a few texts back and forth, it came down to this: I have a lot of emotions going around that I feel like God's voice is being clouded.
It's as if God's voice is the sun, and I am a plant that needs His light to grow. As the storm clouds come in, I begin to loose sight of His light. Pretty soon, the sky is darkened by clouds that are full of thunder and lightning. But more importantly, they are full of fresh pure water. After the clouds have been hovering for awhile, the rain begins to pour. As the water hits my body, I am reminded that this will help nourish me and help me grow stronger. It will allow me to be rooted much deeper that I have ever been before. All I have to is to hold on until the storm passes, so that I am not uprooted and washed away.
Once the rain stops, the clouds pass and I can see the sun. It hasn't left. It is still in the same sky where I saw it last. I realize now no matter how much of God's voice I hear that I will not grow without the storm. Now thankful for the rain that once threatened my existence, I cannot wait to see the sun again.
